Ok my name is actually Ryan Alexander Cagle but my wife (and days I’m being honest) would tell you otherwise. Today is a day I have decided to be honest. I typically scream that we as Christians should live a life of total transparency, all the while refusing to confront and expose my own failings. I am not sure if that is human nature or that I am the only person on the planet that sometimes is a little hypocritical. Ok… A LOT HYPOCRITICAL(since I am being honest and all). Procrastination according to Mr. Webster is: to put off intentionally or habitually something that should be done. This is pretty much a synopsis of my life. You may be laughing but I am being totally serious. Something’s I am sure I never had any intention on doing, other circumstances I spoke rashly, and even more often I truly just could not follow through.
Today I, like many many before it, I have decided that enough is enough. That my procrastination dies today. Sadly this is about the millionth time those words have been uttered by my mouth. There is something significantly different about today in comparison to all the other times before this. I understand the real issue. The issue has never been that I was lazy. The issue was never that I always spoke idle words. The issue is, and has always been, that fear reigns in my heart. I put everything off until tomorrow because of fear, and unsurprisingly tomorrow never seems to come. I am scared. Scared to press forward. Scared to fail. Scared to strive. Scared to chase my dreams. I am sure you get where I am going. As much as I scream “have faith!” I find myself today before my God hearing a truth that shakes me to the core.
I do not ever remember a time when I was just simply here, or now. Like I have spent my life for tomorrow, today. Moving to quick to acknowledge the past but never fast enough to grasp the future. The idea of stopping, waiting, and just breathing in the voice of God is a hard thing for me. I mean we have been raised in this fast paced society so what do we expect from this generation? I have a tendency to view slowing down as a weakness and stoping to breathe is already failure in my mind. I could not truly be more backwards. I do not know what the catalyst for my whole thought process is. Maybe a fear of not being or losing birthed me into a place where I’m so frantic that I am just making a mess of things. Maybe it is rooted somewhere in my need to have some form of control. Regardless of where it started it has never given me more control. It has never kept me from losing. This fear has truly made a mess of things.
If you are like me then the question that is rolling through your head right now is “how do we fix it? How can we press forward? How can we not be afraid?”. The answer for me, and for you, is that where perfect love exist fear can not. The perfect love of God tramples fear under foot. It liberates us to live in the present. To enjoy this life moment to moment. Seizing every opportunity that has been laid out before us by The Father of lights. His love sets us free to dream, to be at peace, to have control. Put your faith in that love! Allow the creator to fill you with life! Let his love seize your heart and nullify any and all fear that may be preventing you from living in the present and accomplishing the dreams He has for you. My prayer for you is the same of which Paul prayed for the church at Ephesus. That you would know the full magnitude of the love God which has been bestowed upon us through Christ Jesus his son! That magnitude if His love is that nothing can separate us from Him. Not even failure.
For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.
For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Through whom, to whom, and for whom all things exist
-Ryan Fearless Cagle